Notorious villain Shirk Grifter, deplored world-wide for despicable crimes against grammar, usage, punctuation, mechanics, and the writing process, pens an essay under the cloak of night, minutes before his deadline.
“Ah-ha!” he cackles. “My essay is significantly shorter than required, but I shall apply dark magic to its margins, font size, and spacing to beguile my detractors! AHAHAHAHA!!!”
But his maleficent laughter is interrupted by a sudden, thunderous boom, the wall of his study suddenly reduced to rubble. Light shines through the rising dust, revealing the silhouette of none other than our hero, The Paragraph Doctor!
“Not so fast, Shirk Grifter!”
“Oh! Paragraph Doctor! Thank heavens. I, uh… I was just, uh… would you care for some tea?” Shirk mumbles sheepishly, lowering his now crimson face.
“Well,” the Paragraph Doctor says with a pleasant grin, “you wouldn't happen to have any chamomile… oh, ah, no!” He clears his throat, remembering his purpose. “No time for tea! My super-senses alerted me to fraudulent writing coming from this very room! I should’ve known it would be YOU!”
“It’s true, Paragraph Doctor! Please help! I’ve been looking at YouTube videos of kittehs all day and my paper’s due in an hour, but I’m still 500 words short!”
“Oh, Shirk,” the Paragraph Doctor sighs. “What will I ever do with you? Well, let’s take a look. Perhaps we need to expand the scope of your thesis, or maybe we just need to add more detail and evidence to your body paragraphs.”
And with that, the two writers set to work, another potential catastrophe laid to rest by THE PARAGRAPH DOCTOR.
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